Your beard is ice cold.
And I don’t mean that in a rock hard or bad arse sense. No, I mean your beard is literally frigid, temperature wise. Icicles dangle from your manly locks. When women blow kisses at you, they freeze in your beard. You need to warm the classy thing up.
Enter: beanie beards (or beard beanies, whatever). These handy little doodads not only warm your all important scalp, but they offer comforting protection to your very fragile whiskers. When out shoveling snow, hunting polar bears, or kicking penguins for fun, these beard head face warmers will trap your body’s heat and smother your face in it. Next time when you go to kiss your woman, you won’t make her yelp due to your cold chin. Because you, sir, use a beard beanie.
GROW A BEARD.