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For mustache styles, head on over to my post on mustache styles.
The Natural Goatee
The natural goatee is a woolly, untamed goatee that covers the chin–a style we’re all familiar with. Similar to a full beard, this beard style is allowed to grow free, with only the cheeks and sideburns shaved (and sometimes the lip). Contrary to public opinion, not all bearded fellows who sport the goatee are evil.
The Musketeer bear style combines a severely trimmed goatee with a Hungarian Mustache that is also trimmed a bit. The goatee is really a beefy extension of the chin strip, allowed to grow to a point, far past the chin. A little beard conditioner and mustache wax may be required to pull this one off.
The Imperial Partial Beard
The Imperial Partial Beard style combines the mustache and beard seamlessly. It is combed up, all at once, where it is slightly coiled to point back at the face. The chin and neck are shaved clean, with only the cheeks and mustache contributing. This one only works if you have a long beard to play with until you get it juuust right.
The Sideburns is a beard style that is hardly a beard at all. With a shaved chin and neck, the sideburns consists of hairy cheeks, usually trimmed to form straight hairy “runways”. Sometimes the mustache is included with Sideburns for a rather unique look.
The Amish Beard
The Amish Beard is basically a full beard style, sans the mustache. Just grow your gnarly, awesome beard as long as you can, and keep your upper lip naked. They say that the Amish took to shaving their upper lips because the posh moneybags who used to oppress them wore thick, luscious mustaches.
The Verdi is a shorter, groomed Garibaldi beard style, sometimes paired with an accompanying Imperial Mustache mustache style. Named after famed composer Giuseppe Verdi, the beard is shorter, neatly trimmed, combed and free of stray hairs. Only gentlemen of the greatest distinction can pull off a Verdi.
The Garibaldi beard style is my personal favorite, because it is the kind I can grow most easily. Named after Italian general Giuseppe Garibaldi, this beard style is grown by round faces that have bristly, wavy or curly beards. It poofs out in a big ball. A bit of trimming here and there is required to keep the Garibaldi neat and tidy, but if done right, it can be an impressive beard that will comfort children and make single ladies swoon. As for married ladies? They just get a touch of envy and personal disappointment.
The Full Beard
The Full Beard is just a beard. Nothing fancy, nothing flamboyant. It’s just a really long, studly beard. This thing is like an extra body part. Men who sport the full beard couldn’t be rid of it any more than they could an arm or leg. The thing has a soul. When you encounter a full beard on the street, lesser beards stand aside to make way. It is the emperor of beards.
The Chin Strip
The chin strip is a beard style for those who are happy being half men. Instead of sporting whatever their cheeks can supply, they whittle it down until there is very little left except a small strip right up the middle of the chin, ending at the lip.
This beard style is popular with 30-year-old skateboarders with so much metal in their faces that they have to be wary of magnets.
The Soul Patch
The Soul Patch works on one of two occasions. A) You’re Jack Black., or B) An enemy took a razor to your face–you had no part in the butchering of your beard. True beards provide a safety net that help collect stray crumbs. Since it collects only the smallest of crumbs from your breakfast, we can hardly call it a beard.
The Chin Curtain
The Chin Curtain beard style is a trimmed beard with the lip and chin shaved. The hair skirts the chin, really just dancing around the outside of your face. We recommend this style only for those who have had the fronts of their faces singed by explosive blasts. Sported by Abe Lincoln, one of the mightiest of all presidents, who apparently hunted vampires in his spare time. Just shave that upper lip, keep your beard length to a minimum and bam!–Abe Lincoln.
The Mutton Chops
The Mutton Chops consist of a shorn lip and chin. Mutton Chop wearers will sometimes shave their necks too, but they keep their sideburns and let their cheeks grow full with beard. Like a woman growing large with child. Ok, not really.
This facial style is popular with those fond trucker caps. Kick his grass, Sea Bass.
The Friendly Mutton Chops
See above, add a mustache.
The Franz-Josef beard style, named after Franz Josef I of Austria, starts with proud sideburns that run along across your lip. Cheeks, chin and neck are shaved clean. It looks like one continuous bushy line that skirts your upper lip but leaves the lower half of your face (the better half) bare.
(The fellow above is Burnside by the way, not Josef).
The Balbo stands out as an extra large goatee with a short mustache. Wear the goatee wide across your chin. The mustache is trimmed short, and sometimes it doesn’t touch the beard. Most people who sport the Balbo wear it short.
The Anchor beard style looks like an anchor. Your chin and jaw make up the bottom part of the anchor, and your upper lip tops it off. Usually a stache is worn short with the Anchor, and the beard is groomed tightly and worn short.
Am I missing any? And now that you’re an expert on beard styles, can you name each of them below?
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